THE ART OF SLEDGING

A tour to Australia is tough for many reasons. Physically, the heat can be ferocious. In terms of ability, playing one of the best teams in the world (in conditions they know so well), is never going to be easy. Yet, it’s the mental side of an Ashes series in Australia, which is often commented on as being the toughest test of all. The Aussies (and I’m talking about both players and supporters) are the masters of sledging. They simply revel in their oppositions “mental disintegration.” In anticipation then, of the war of words coming up, CricketChicks have selected a few of their favourite sledging quotes. Enjoy.

THE ASHES 2005

Are you Bangladesh in disguise?
Barmy Army

He's fat, he's round, he bounces on the ground, Shane Warne, Shane Warne.
Barmy Army

Get your sh*t stars off our flag.
Barmy Army

That Glenn McGrath ... what a bastard.
Mick Jagger

I smiled at Ricky Ponting. He didn't smile back. He was in a terrible temper for some reason. Quite why he was blaming me when his partner, Damien Martyn, had called him for a suicidal single to cover, I don't know. You know what's more? All the palaver caused me to burn my toast.
Duncan Fletcher on the fallout from the infamous Gary Pratt run out

The kindest thing you can say about their performance is that it was shoddy but you can think of many stronger words to use.
Richie Benaud

ENGLAND VS. AUSTRALIA (From the Victorian era to the present day!)

Mark Waugh : F**k me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England.
James Ormond : Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family.

Don't bother shutting it, son, you won't be there long enough.
Fred Truman to incoming Aussie batsman as he opened the gate on his way out to the middle at Lord's

Tap that one down you little b*stard.
Tony Lock bowls a bouncer at Richie Benaud following a prolonged spell of gardening

You are a damned lot of sneaks.
WG Grace to Midwinter, The Oval, 1877

They are capital winners out here, but I'm afraid the same adjective cannot be applied to them as losers.
Lord Harris, on tour in Australia in 1879

The aim of English cricket is, in fact, mainly to beat Australia.
Jim Laker

Aussies are big and empty, just like their country.
Ian Botham

A cricket tour in Australia would be the most delightful period in one's life, if one was deaf.
Harold Larwood

Well bowled Harold!
Douglas Jardine after Larwood fells Woodfull with a ball in the chest

All Australians are an uneducated and unruly mob.
Douglas Jardine. Comment made to Australian wicket keeper Stork Hendry during the infamous 1932-1933 Bodyline series

The only one who really got up my nose was Steve Waugh who spent the entire series giving out verbals. A bit of a joke really when he was the one bloke wetting himself against the quick bowlers.
Michael Atherton

Merv is a funny guy, though he would sledge his own mother if he thought it would help the cause.
Gladstone Small

AUSTRALIA VS. ENGLAND

Hell, Gatt, move out of the way, I can't see the stumps.
Dennis Lillee

What do you think this is, a f***ing tea party? No you can't have a f***ing glass of water. You can f***ing wait like all the rest of us.
Allan Border to Robin Smith

Mate, if you turn the bat over, you'll see the instructions on the back!
Merv Hughes to Robin Smith

Merv Hughes : You can't f**king bat.
Robin Smith : Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat and you can't f**king bowl.

Tufnell! Can I borrow your brain? I'm building an idiot.
Voice from the crowd, Newcastle Test

You've got to bat on this in a minute, Tufnell. Hospital food suit you?
Craig McDermott to Phil Tufnell

Don't swat those flies, Jardine, they're the only friends here you've got!
Yabba

Don't give the bastard a drink. Let him die of thirst.
Voice from the crowd while Jardine was batting during the Bodyline series

The sound of the ball hitting the batsman's skull was music to my ears.
Thomson

Read more at http://www.cootcomics.com/quotes.html.